Coaching Conversations in 2025

Unlocking Self-Awareness: The Power of Thoughtful Questioning

Tim Hagen

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Has anyone ever pointed out a trait you weren't aware you possessed? People's lack of self-awareness often becomes a topic of discussion; we aim to change that narrative in this episode. We share the importance of practicing self-awareness and how asking the right questions can be the catalyst to a fulfilling journey of self-discovery. The art of inquiring open-ended questions helps avoid confrontations and paves the way for meaningful dialogues, prompting you to not only look at yourself but also understand your interactions with everything and everyone around you.

Imagine having a toolkit of transformative questions that you could use in various scenarios to enhance your self-awareness. We present three such questions - the first one nudges you to learn from your experiences, the second one makes you consider what you've discovered about yourself, and the third propels you into action based on your newfound understanding. These introspective inquiries can solidify your self-awareness, fostering personal development. Join us, and initiate a journey of self-awareness that begins with thoughtful questioning. Don't forget to tune in for our next episode where we'll explore activities and actions that supplement this journey.

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Speaker 1:

Self-awareness is really tough and people often talk about why have someone who's lacking self-awareness? There are really three fundamental questions. No matter if it's post-training, post-feedback, post-discussion, they are really designed to cultivate self-awareness. Now, self-awareness also takes practice. People need to practice self-awareness.

Speaker 1:

Yet the way you start self-awareness is you start self-awareness by asking questions and you have to be very careful that they're open-ended questions. So when you go up to somebody and say, well, do you feel like you're a little bit harsh in that person? No, I really don't. The minute you ask a question that's close-ended, what happens? People might take the path of least resistance. I don't have to look in the mirror now. No, I don't think I was harsh in that person. And all of a sudden then you think they were. Guess what you just did. You just entered into an argument. You basically said to that person oh, no, no, no, you were harsh.

Speaker 1:

Versus saying so, what did you learn when you interacted with that person? What do you think their response was? What would you do differently the next time to maybe create a more even cooperative type of conversation? What word do you think they would use to describe your demeanor when you were talking about XYZ? Questions make a difference. So here are three questions you can use, no matter the situation. First of all, number one what did you learn? That's it. Don't add any more. Don't add any extra questions, just ask.

Speaker 1:

So what did you learn from the feedback? Number two based on what you learned, what did you learn about yourself you're positively committed to, based on what you learned? What are you positively committed to, based on what you learned about yourself. So the second question is what did you learn about yourself you're positively committed to? Number three what positive steps are you going to take based on what you learned? And that's an action-oriented question. So the three questions again are what did you learn? What did you learn about yourself you're positively committed to, and what steps are you gonna take going forward, based on what you learned?

Speaker 1:

By answering that, it solidifies, it embeds in the person's mind what they learned, what they need to do, what they need to continually be committed to, based on their own personal development. Those are the three self-awareness questions. Now, when can you use these questions? You can do it after training, after a coaching session, after a learning, after somebody has feedback, after maybe they have a discussion on conflict with somebody that maybe they were hesitant to have. So remember self-awareness. Where self-awareness gets cultivated, it starts with questions. Now, in our next podcast, we're gonna talk about activities and actions. This is probably one of the key things that you can do is to really embed in your language questions that drive self-awareness. Self-awareness starts first literally with awareness, then action. Ask questions. Ask questions starting with the word what. Use our three questions and you'll notice a dramatic difference.