Coaching Conversations in 2025

Mastering Self-Awareness for Effective Interactions

Tim Hagen

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Do you ever feel like you're stumbling through conversations, unaware of the impact of your words and actions? Imagine the possibilities if you could unlock the power of self-awareness, understanding the effect of your communication and behavior on others. This episode offers a deep dive into the transformative power of self-awareness, and how it can open countless doors in your personal and professional life. Learn practical steps to cultivate self-awareness, such as conducting regular listening chats and maintaining a journal. We also discuss the importance of receiving feedback graciously, and using it as a tool to build stronger communication and interpersonal relationships.

But we're not stopping there! Listen in as we emphasize the significance of accountability and learning projects for constant progression. Find out how these learning projects form the basis of your next coaching conversation, creating a cycle of continuous learning and growth. We also address the difficult subject of dealing with individuals who lack self-awareness and seem oblivious to reality. Hear our thoughts on reversing negative practices for positive outcomes. Get ready for a thought-provoking journey into the world of self-awareness, where both action and accountability are key.

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Speaker 1:

If you're coaching someone, or even coaching yourself, to develop more self-awareness, you know, one of the things that we have to do is take action. Yet we also have to be accountable to the process. And the cool thing about self-awareness is it opens up so many doors. You know, we often say, well, I didn't mean it that way, that wasn't my intention. And what that really says is you know, I might be lacking awareness of the impact of my message, what I'm saying, how I'm acting, how I'm approaching people. So when you think about actions of developing self-awareness, I go back to a very fundamental thing. If not for yourself and I would encourage you to do it for yourself as well as other people to do two to three listening chats a month and journal them. And what you do is you go up to somebody and say you know what, susie, give me some feedback on where you feel like I'm a great teammate and where you feel like I could, you know, raise my game. You don't even have to use the words constructive or feedback, and when someone gives you that information, just say thank you. Let's be candid People don't even want to give each other feedback because it's uncomfortable. We don't know how people are going to react. And if you can do that and you sit in the moment and you just say thank you, what happens is you build up a repertoire of better communication. People are more apt to approach you. Now the second thing not only do you take action, yet you have to be accountable, and we call it a learning project. So let's say you're coaching someone who is really lacking self-awareness. I would say, every week or two weeks, say to somebody, julie, I want you to come in every week with the result of one listening chat. I want you to share with me how you approach the person, what you learned from the feedback and, more importantly, what you positively put into action by the time we get together based on the feedback that you received. Now what happens is that learning project drives the next coaching conversation. Now, the funny thing is, employees interact with each other all the time. So the excuse of why didn't have time really isn't suffice, because the listening chat takes literally 10 minutes. Now, the cool thing is, when you do that, what that actually represents is an opportunity and a cadence to continue to practice. But the learning project is conducted between conversations. It drives the next conversation. So, for example, Julie, a couple of weeks ago, I asked you to come in with two examples where you executed learning chats or listening chats. And what did you learn? More importantly, what did you learn about yourself? What did you put into action? And that cadence between coaching sessions builds accountability. We have to be accountable, we have to take action when it comes to self-awareness.

Speaker 1:

Now someone was just asking me what do you do when someone just lacks self-awareness and they're just totally unaware and they just can't? You know it's impossible for them to become self-aware. And I said do you mean they have blind spots? They just don't even look at reality? And this woman said, yeah, yeah, you know you can't really do anything.

Speaker 1:

I said well, it's not instantaneous success, but people practice a lack of self-awareness. And she looked at me funny and I said it's kind of like a person with a negative attitude. People with negative attitudes practice having negative attitudes. Think about it Do you have that friend in your life who's always yeah, but yeah, that won't work. Or do you want to go for dinner? I said I don't want to go to Italian. No matter what you say, they kind of negate or take an opposite view, or they yeah, but you, that takes practice, a negative attitude can be. I don't think it can be perfected, but people are really good at it. So you have to reverse engineer. That's where the practice, that's where the application, that's where the actions, that's where the accountability actions which we call learning projects between coaching sessions will serve you very well. Remember self-awareness requires action and accountability.