Mastering Emotional Intelligence: Understanding and Managing Workplace Emotions

Ever wondered why your emotions seem to have a mind of their own, especially in high-stress situations like the workplace? Join us as we explore the RIRE assessment model—React, Interpret, Articulate, and Reflect—and how flipping this process on its head can revolutionize your approach to feedback and conflict resolution. We dissect the stories we tell ourselves when faced with challenging interactions and the conditioned responses that often lead us to misinterpret the emotions of others and ourselves. It's a candid look at the narratives that shape our lives, from the deceptive allure of reality TV to the more subtle, yet impactful, dynamics of office politics.

Prepare to be challenged to pause and reflect before responding, as we offer a deep dive into the transformative power of considering perspectives beyond our own. We don't just stop at theory; we provide actionable insights and strategies to navigate the emotional tempests we all face. By the end of our conversation, you'll walk away with a newfound appreciation for the emotional undercurrents in your daily interactions and the tools to foster a more understanding and productive environment, whether you're at home, at work, or anywhere in between. This isn't just talk; it's a guide to mastering the subtle art of emotional intelligence.

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Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:38

I just did a workshop talking about emotional interpretation, the storm before emotional intelligence. Somewhere along the way, we have been conditioned to react and take things out of context. There's so many theories as to why. You know when you think about it, we're very revealing, yet we're also very emotional as human beings. As much as that comes off as a very deep statement, there's so many things that fuel our minds. Think about reality shows. Think about going on a show and having the country, the world, judge you, yet you're willing to do it.

Speaker 1: 1:26

One of the things that I've always found funny is my wife and my daughter love the bachelor and the bachelor. They love the show and I go, but it's not a false pretense. And she said what do you mean? I go? There isn't an ugly person in the group. They're all good looking people. They can't get dates, and so it's revealing, right? People are there for reasons other than just to find their soulmate. No, maybe not everybody. I get that and we tend to do things that are very revealing.

Speaker 1: 1:59

Now there isn't a person in the workplace in the world that's going to raise their hand with the following question how many of you are really difficult to work with? Nobody's going to raise their hand. Yet let me ask you now, as you listen to this podcast episode, do you know somebody who's difficult to work with? Of course you do, systemically, at the foundation of what causes that is our emotional reaction. We emotionally react when we get good news it gets us happy. When we get a bonus check, it gets us happy. When we hear bad news, we can get sad or we can get mad. Now, in the workplace, when we hear something we don't like, we tend to react to it. Most people don't say I need to learn from this. This is a perspective I hadn't thought about, that I might be portraying to the rest of the world.

Speaker 1: 2:58

Typically, what people do is we come up with a narrative, we come up with a story, we come up with an interpretation. The interpretation is what? Well, it's not me. So we do something here called the RIRE assessment, and so RIRE is R-I-A-R. The first R is we react. The I is we tend to interpret and this is where the falseness, this is where the story narrative changes. And then, number three letter the A of RIRE. We start to articulate. And then the R. The second R, the fourth letter is we reflect. Very few people don't get to the final R or reflection.

Speaker 1: 3:56

So if somebody gives me feedback, I react and then I start to interpret. I start telling myself something Gosh, my boss, he's really upset with me. This is so unfair. Other people are doing a worse job than me. I wasn't the only one late for work. And I'm starting to interpret. So what happens? Then I start to articulate why it's not me.

Speaker 1: 4:24

I don't take the time to reflect and say you know what I think? I need to think about what he or she said. I need to think about that perspective or that perception I might be creating out in the workplace. Now let's reverse RIRE. What if somebody gave you feedback and the person gave you feedback and said I don't want you to respond, I just want you to think about what I've said and I want you to just take a deep breath and just reflect for about 20 minutes. Let's get back together. It's amazing, everybody. It's fricking amazing. It calms people down, it absolves the reaction in the moment.

Speaker 1: 5:03

So start with reflection, then you can articulate. The articulation can be woven with questions. So when we get back together, after you reflect, share with me two things you're going to do, two things you're going to do successfully to embrace this feedback and alter its perception, then they can start to interpret, then they can start to react appropriately. Basically, what happens is we react, we interpret, we articulate why it's not us and we never really get to reflection. We just kind of move on while my boss is being a jerk Well, that guy has it out for me. Well, that coaches and playing my kid because he doesn't like my kid Well, I don't know if the teacher really likes you. I think he deserved an A in that paper. What happens? We change things. So think about starting with reflection, then articulation, prompt the articulation with questions. What are you going to do to successfully embrace this feedback? What are you willing to do to alter its perception successfully? Then they start to interpret differently, then they start to react differently. Let me know your thoughts.