Ever wondered what really stands in the way of seamless collaboration and crystal-clear communication within your team? Tune in, and you’ll unlock the secrets of conversing effectively and managing your emotional reactions, crucial skills that often go overlooked in the hustle of the workplace. Our in-depth discussion sheds light on the invisible barriers that emotional interpretations create, warping our sense of reality and complicating interactions, from trivial discussions about attire to heated office debates. We share stories and insights that will help you navigate the conversational minefields in your daily exchanges, ensuring you walk away with the tools to cultivate a more cohesive and respectful work environment.
During this episode, we don’t just talk about theory; we bring it home with a real-life tale of miscommunication between a boss and an employee. Witness the unraveling of a workplace scenario where a lack of attention leads to a flood of emotions and potential discord. We dissect this interaction to highlight the power of active listening and the magic of empathy. By giving listeners a front-row seat to this unfolding drama, we pave the way for understanding and demonstrate intervention techniques that can mend the rifts. Join us and learn how to turn the tide in favor of effective dialogue, team unity, and a workplace that thrives on understanding—where each member feels heard, valued, and motivated.
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Speaker 1:
You know, when you think about all the training and all the leadership initiatives and the team development programs out there, I'm wondering if we're missing something that is so fundamental. It's right in front of us, as theatrical as that sounds. Let me explain. I think what inhibits people from working together is twofold One, the way we converse. Two, the way we react. And our reaction is typically predicated upon something that we call emotional interpretation. So when we approach somebody and say that's not a good looking jacket, or you're late for work again and you got to cut it out, or you have a bad attitude in that moment, do we react emotionally or logically? Typically emotionally. Now, when we're emotional, do we typically keep it to ourself or do we tell other people? And then we transition from this thing called reality to non-reality. Let me give you an example. Think about two politicians. Think about, you know, president Trump and President Biden, and in their last debate they had to get a moderator so they wouldn't talk over each other. Now, at the end, both sides said my candidate did great, they both did great, they both did poorly, and so our view of reality is already skewed, because we really can't go against the tide of people. So when you think about the ability to converse and showing up for conversations, think about a time when you were talking to somebody and they peeked down at their phone and then they looked up and said oh, I'm sorry, what did you say? What happens to you in that moment? Does it excite you to continue the conversation or does it upset you? Let me give you another one.
Speaker 1:
I witnessed a conversation between a boss and an employee the other day and in the boss's defense he was very, very busy, good guy, really good leader, and I could tell he was distracted and we were having a conversation. We're three other people in the meeting and I think there are about four or five of us total, and the one employee was talking and looking at him and you could tell he wasn't there. You could tell something else was on his mind he probably shouldn't have attended the meeting or we should have reconvened for a later time. And when he, when she got done explaining her idea now, remember her idea he said, oh, I'm okay. Well, that's interesting. And you could just tell he had no clue what she had just said. And so I looked at him and I'll use a different name and I said you know, bob, I said what specifically did you like about the idea? And I wanted to get clarification so she would not leave upset and it was a little risky what I did. And he said you know what, to be honest with you guys I'm so sorry, my head is in another space I I didn't really get the context of what you were presenting and he looked at as an employee and, to his credit, he apologized.
Speaker 1:
She looked dismayed, defeated, upset. She spoke for maybe three minutes and when she was done you could tell he wasn't listening. So afterwards I went up to her and I said you know, I'm not gonna ask how you're feeling, because I think I know. What do you think happened in that conversation? And she said he never listens to me, he never likes my ideas.
Speaker 1:
She was taking what occurred and labeled every interaction she had ever had with her boss, probably pretty unfairly. Now was he unfair in the moment? Absolutely. So I said look, I'm gonna plant a seed with you. You decide if it's gonna grow. Give him some latitude. I'm not forgiving. I'm not saying what he did was not a mistake. Yet when we all make mistakes, and if we throw our hands up and say that's it, I'm never gonna work with him and I said I know you're not saying that. She said no, no, I okay, good point. And I said give him a little latitude.
Speaker 1:
And, to her credit, she went back and she said look, I understand you're distracted. Let me know when you have a time. This idea is really important to me. He looked at her and said I owe you the biggest apology. My job is to listen and serve my people and I failed you.
Speaker 1:
Now it took maybe an intermediary, someone like myself or somebody to watch this and then kind of bring the parties back together. Now what would have happened, whether it was me or someone else? I'm not trying to praise myself, yet. What I'm trying to illustrate is wow, had I not jumped in, she would have gone and told three or four other people she was upset. He would never have known Unless I asked him the question in the meeting. I then went back to him and I said look, I met with your employee and I said I think he needs to talk to you and present her idea. And he said I was just not, my head was not in that meeting. So think about this everybody. Think about eight hours a day, never making a mistake, and, for God's sake, be on, do not lose eye contact. Make sure you active, listen every single conversation. It's not gonna happen right.
Speaker 1:
Yet we do have to practice conversational skills. So I wanna introduce you to a concept and if you're intrigued, fill out the link that we have within this article and it's called rotating conversations. They are different conversations that bring people together for better teamwork, better understanding, better communication, better collaboration, better context to one another. We tell some great stories of where people had misunderstandings and later became great coworkers. The foundation of every organization, the culture of every organization, is predicated upon how we converse and communicate with each other. I'm gonna say it it requires practice. We don't listen to each other like we used to. We take things out of context. We hear one thing and it becomes something else very quickly. The ability to have good conversations is at the foundation of leadership, teamwork, collaboration, communication. It's called rotating conversations. It is a course designed for leaders to implement rotating conversations within their teams and even cross-departmentally. You know the dreaded silos. If you're intrigued, fill out the form and we'll get you some information.