Are we truly equipping our children for the rigors of adulthood and the professional landscape? This episode invites you to consider if our education systems and parenting methods, with their zealous focus on academic curriculum and performance, might be inadvertently overlooking the crucial lessons of resilience, respect, and collaboration. We delve into the consequences of this oversight, discussing the importance of instilling the right behaviors and values in our youngsters – not just in school, but at home too.
Today's conversation with a seasoned educator offers a wealth of anecdotes and insights that highlight the significance of supporting authority figures and teaching children how to gracefully accept feedback. It's a revealing look at what it really takes to prepare the next generation for success, emphasizing the need to begin with a long-term goal in mind. From the sports field to the classroom, we examine the ripple effects of parental attitudes toward coaches, teachers, and referees on the development of our children's character. Tune in for an enlightening discussion that challenges us to rethink the lifelong lessons we're imparting on our future adults.
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Speaker 1:
You know, when you think about coaching our youth and you think about preparing them, you know when you think about starting in grade school, junior high school, high school obviously, through college potentially, and then into this thing called the workplace, I'm wondering if we have it wrong. We tend to be very curriculum here's what we need to cover driven, if you will, and I think we need to start with the end in mind. With the end in mind Now I'm going to be a little bit cynical, a little bit jaded. Let's think about this for a second. Is there really a parent, is there really a parent in the world that would say you know what? I want my son or daughter to get into the workplace. I want them to be terrible teammates. I want them to only think of themselves. I want them to underline management and be disrespectful to authority. Now I bet you're laughing a little bit yet. Let's now go back to the beginning. So we just started a little bit with the end in mind. What do we really want? We want our kids to grow up, be good adults, be well liked, have careers they're passionate about, potentially have jobs. They really like work with people. They really like work in organizations that are helpful, thoughtful, have a good purpose in the world.
Speaker 1:
And here's the funny thing If we go back to the beginning and a mom or dad goes to the teacher and I just talked to a teacher a really good friend of mine and got a letter saying from a dad saying I'm sick of these field trips, blah, blah, blah Do I have to come into the school and teach you how to teach? And, by the way, this person doesn't have a college degree. I'm not putting that down, by the way. What I'm referencing is okay, sure, come on in and teach. I'd love to see it. And that's what teachers go through. Now the kid knows this message is being sent, whether the parent thinks they've shielded it or not. The kid will eventually figure it out. The kid has learned a very invaluable wrong lesson Disrespect authority, because my parents did. When a parent goes to a coach and says why isn't my kid playing enough? And they're angry, the kid will notice that. And what that teaches the kid is you've been wronged, he's not a good coach. She's not a good coach. Here's the funny thing when you have those type of interactions as parents, you have taught your kids to not tap into resilience, not tap into what it takes to overcome challenges and roadblocks and barriers. You're actually teaching your kid to give up. Now, somebody who argues that is very, very mistaken Because in that moment it doesn't feel like a lot, it doesn't feel like we're teaching it, yet you're modeling that behavior.
Speaker 1:
Now, when that happens one of the things when you go into the workplace that I hear from leaders all the time how people don't take feedback they get mad. They want to be promoted by next Tuesday because they started last Friday, and so when you think about really a good employee today, beginning with the end in mind, they need to receive feedback and just be quiet. Don't come up with reasons why the feedback is invaluable, why you disagree with it. Feedback is also perception. If you cannot listen to perception, you are pushing people away.
Speaker 1:
I once told my son you're not going to play much this year in basketball. He said, yeah, I kind of figured that. And I said always remember, when you sit back and you fold your legs and you have an expression of disjoint or disgruntlement, lean forward and always let that coach know that you're ready to go into the game. That's what a good teammate does. The second thing is a positive attitude coming into the workplace with a positive attitude. So when a kid is on the field and they hear their parents yelling at the referee, yelling at the ump, what they're hearing is oh my gosh, it's not me, that was a bad call, he was a bad referee why a child would ever feel the need, the right or the intellectual insight to say he or she's not a good official. I offer to my parents all the time and I believe this just happened in New Jersey that if a parent is out of line, they make them ump three games to start watching their kids play again. I love that. So we have authority figures and I'm gonna share this with you.
Speaker 1:
I'm gonna steal a page out of Chris Rock's Netflix. He talks about bullies. Now, I don't think bullying's good, don't get me wrong. But he said I want my kids to get bullied. They need to learn to fight for themselves. I'll let you in on a secret. Yes, your kids are going to have good and bad teachers. Yes, they're going to have good and bad coaches. Yes, they're going to have good and bad bosses.
Speaker 1:
But how we react defines who we are. I want to end this with a little bit of a story. I had a mom whose kids play hockey and she would go to these hockey matches and she would just go off and she was taking some of our classes and I'll never forget it. And she said I'm breeding the very behavior that we exhibit here at work. I said interesting, isn't it? She said it stops now. She stopped doing it and she noticed a difference in her daughter who was playing hockey, how she was much more helpful to the other kids. She was much more agreeable with the coach, listening to the coach.
Speaker 1:
See, we don't listen rationally, we don't react rationally. When we don't like something, or something has wronged us or something has gone south, what do we do? We react emotionally. And when our kids see this, when our kids see this, they start to discount their responsibility. I'll tell you, it happens every single day in the workplace.
Speaker 1:
People will say well, he's not a very good boss. I've actually confronted people with this and I've gone up to them and said have you ever been a boss? Well, you know, it's just that he just. I said I just asked you a question. Can you listen? You're criticizing a boss. You can't even answer a question. And I'll be that aggressive because what it does is it becomes the disgruntlement in the workplace. So when a kid is walking down the hallway and say, well, he or she's a bad teacher, he or she's a bad coach. Yeah, my mom and dad told me. We want our kids to face change and challenge. We want them to feel bumps in the road they become better drivers of their own life. Begin with the end in mind and coach them to get there.