Mastering Self-Regulation: Transforming Interactions from Conflict to Collaboration

Ever found yourself wishing you could have a redo on a conversation gone awry? You're not alone. Our latest episode unveils the power of self-regulation, a pivotal component of emotional intelligence that often doesn't get the spotlight it deserves. We take a deep look into the art of managing disruptive impulses and the transformative impact that pausing to think before we act can have on our interactions. From heated debates to high-stakes negotiations, we explore how mastering self-regulation is key to maintaining composure and fostering constructive dialogue.

A highlight of our conversation is the riveting story shared by a client who navigated a tense departmental clash amidst the pandemic. An emotive video becomes the unlikely peacemaker, prompting a shift from confrontation to collaboration. This episode doesn't just stop at the importance of self-regulation; it arms you with actionable strategies to cultivate and sustain this critical behavior. Join us to gain insights into how you can nurture patience and perspective, leading to more fulfilling and positive engagements in both your personal and professional realms.

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Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:36

Now, the next form of emotional intelligence is self-regulation. Now, self-regulation is the ability to control and manage disruptive impulses and moods, the ability to suspend judgment and to think before acting. Doesn't that sound nice? Think about somebody in your life where you know I always make the joke of you know, ask a Republican and a Democrat in the United States to go have a calm lunch, but make sure you explain all of your views. So when we're in the moment, it's tough right. We're not rational, logical beings. We're typically emotional beings.

Speaker 1: 1:18

When somebody is in an argument, what happens when we have a disagreement? Does it calm us down? Does it get our blood boiling? It typically gets our blood boiling, especially if it's something passionate or near and dear to us. So think about yourself. Think about something right now where you look back and we've all done it I'll save you the time. We've all done it and you think about that time where you know you look back and thought, wow, I was really unfair.

Speaker 1: 1:51

I want to share with you a very quick story. I had a client that had two departments during the pandemic that were not working well together. But during the pandemic they made disinfectant wipes. They were doing well. They had a lot of work. Here's the funny thing. He said to me he goes, what can I do? And I said what do you mean? He goes.

Speaker 1: 2:12

The minute they start talking it turns into an argument. So what he did, which I thought was brilliant, is he played a video and he used this video to kind of tug on their heartstrings a little bit. The video is with a young man who was a Down syndrome basketball manager for a high school team. They put him in the last game of the year and he played the video and he goes. Really, guys. He said look, think about this family. Their pandemic, in theory, never ends. They've got to worry about how they're going to take care of their son the rest of their life. And we're sitting here complaining and we're overwhelmed with work. What a great privilege. But do we really have it that bad versus the rest of the world Gets up, walks out of the meeting and go wait a minute.

Speaker 1: 2:56

I never told you to do that and it was funny. Two guys from both departments came to his office and said we don't want you to come to the meetings. We're going to work through this. You are 100% right. The minute you left we started to talk about the issues and he said it was amazing, after you played that video, it gave us perspective and we calmed down and we calmly went through the issues. We've come to a reconciliation on some of our challenges and they were talking like this the manager calls me and goes oh my gosh, that was amazing. I said now you've got to nurture the behavior. It's going to creep up, it's going to pop up. So self-regulation we all need to practice.