Coaching Conversations in 2024

Rethinking Education and Work with Feedback

Tim Hagen

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Have you ever wondered if our educational systems are truly preparing students for the challenges of the real world? Reflecting on the journey of a math-savvy son, we delve into the critical skills of problem-solving and critical thinking that extend far beyond the classroom. But there's another skill that often goes overlooked: the ability to embrace and utilize feedback. We propose a transformative idea for education—teaching students how to genuinely receive and apply feedback, enhancing their self-awareness and personal growth. This episode explores the profound impact of understanding perception versus intent and the invaluable role feedback plays in personal development.

Transitioning our focus from schools to the workplace, we examine the frequent misalignment between perception and intention among colleagues. Too often, feedback is met with excuses or dismissed outright, hindering opportunities for reflection and improvement. We advocate for a culture where open communication and feedback are not only encouraged but actively engaged with. By fostering environments where feedback is welcomed as a tool for growth, both students and professionals can dramatically improve team dynamics and individual progress. This episode serves as a call to action for educators and leaders to create spaces where feedback is not feared but seen as an essential component of development.

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Speaker 1:

So do our school systems have it wrong? I don't know. I look at my son, who is really a very strong math student. He was in trigonometry and calculus and all these high-end math things that I just, quite frankly, never understood, still don't understand. And it's interesting because when I think about that, you know, I think application of what we learn is so important. And when someone says, well, he'll never use calculus, he'll never use algebra in the real world, yeah, but it's really also teaching something you know, fundamental, called critical thinking, problem solving. So I do think school systems do incredible things and certainly have challenges beyond my comprehension.

Speaker 1:

Now, with that being said, one thing I would love to propose to our school systems is the ability to go ask for feedback and say thank you, to learn the value of feedback, to teach our youth. The goal of feedback is never to give it to someone. Its core objective is to give it to somebody, so someone receives it well and uses it. Whether there's agreement or disagreement, when somebody provides you feedback, they're providing you, at a minimum, a perception. So if I go up to somebody and say, john, you're kind of coming off like a jerk, most people are going to dismiss that and push back and fight it. Yet hopefully someone like John, this fictitious, hypothetical person, says to themselves wow, I wonder if I'm giving off that perception. See, the other thing that we don't teach is the battle of perception versus intent. So let me fast forward to the workplace. How often do we have that person in our meeting, who you know, where he or she talks over other people, and then later they say to somebody who says, geez, you know, people couldn't get a word in edgewise. Well, I was just passionate. And they give themselves permission to talk over other people. What are they doing? They're lacking self-awareness. They're dismissing the feedback. They're creating their own story and narrative.

Speaker 1:

Wouldn't it be great if kids in junior, high school, high school, college, learned how to get feedback? To look at a student and say in life, you're going to hear things you do not want to hear. Just be quiet and smile, think about it, Reflect, then come back to the person and say I was thinking about your feedback. I'm still a little bit confused. I still want to know how I can take that feedback and put it into use. Would you help me? Versus, in the moment just nodding or rolling their eyes, just hoping to get through the conversation because, oh, this feedback is such BS. I don't even want to take the feedback.

Speaker 1:

And I tell leaders all the time. You know how your employees are nodding when you give them feedback. You think they're agreeing. They're nodding off. They can't wait for you to shut up. Why? Because they don't agree with your feedback. When they don't agree, they start to shut down. They come up with a story, they come up with a narrative that changes everything and it really distorts their own reality. Get your people practicing feedback. Get them to understand the battle between perception and intent In the workplace. The team will dramatically improve.