Harnessing Feedback for Career Advancement and Self-Awareness

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Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:37

You know, when people hear the word feedback, typically the mind goes to the word or the words constructive feedback. Most people don't gravitate to this thing called positive feedback, at least in their thought process, because typically we get more constructive than we do positive. How do I know this? Do you know, in 32 years, when I asked the question, if an employee is called into the office by the boss, what's the employee's first typical response? Everybody says, uh-oh, I must be in trouble. Do you know, in 32 years, no one has ever said my promotion's here. It's always good stuff.

Speaker 1: 1:12

So I'm going to introduce you to something called controlled feedback. We also reference it using something called rules of engagement. Now, we're going to teach this as it relates to cultivating self-awareness. So this is something called controlled feedback and we teach a variety of techniques around this concept. But controlled feedback is you're going to ask someone for feedback and you're going to control it. You're going to ask somebody what are two or three things I do well specific to, and then fill in the blank and what's the one area where I have an opportunity to improve or raise my game? Notice we do not use the words constructive feedback, why People will be more likely to ask the question. It just feels a little nicer Now. That doesn't mean we soft pedal it. Then. The rule is this is where the control comes in.

Speaker 1: 2:09

When you get the feedback, you simply say thank you, and I always get the question well, what if I disagree with it? I said who cares? Somebody is kind enough to give you feedback. If you ask for feedback, then I want you to tell people going forward. Well, based on how you answer, I'll let you know if I agree or disagree. But if you're going to dismiss it and come up with reasons to invalidate the feedback, you will never understand the perception you give other people. And, whether you like it or not, the perception that people have of you matters. It might be misguided, it might be misunderstood, it might be miscalculated I get it, but then you just can't hide behind. Well, that's their issue. Well, no, some of those people who might have that issue might be the very people who can help you in your career, and a lot of times we're misunderstood, not because people are bad people.

Speaker 1: 3:09

So when you use controlled feedback and the reason I stress that so vigorously is that when you have controlled feedback you got to remember one thing Most of us. When we hear feedback, there's an emotional reaction. It is not one of calmness, especially when it's constructive. Now, when we hear three or four good things about ourselves, we feel good. There's still an emotional reaction. Yet if somebody says, geez, joanne, you just don't seem to work well with your teammates, and that person in their mind goes what are you talking about? I love my teammates. That's jarring that person. So we always share with people. Remember how you react to feedback and why we use controlled feedback to cultivate self-awareness. Why you do that is because you want that person to feel comfortable to come back to you again. It's because you want that person to feel comfortable to come back to you again. The minute you start hearing silence and there's no feedback, that's the time you really need to start to worry.