Coaching Conversations in 2025

Mastering Emotions at Work

Tim Hagen

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Are you interested in the latest coaching strategy from Tim Hagen? Check out the new Journal-Based Coaching Guide series, where you can improve critical workplace skills by listening to audio lessons via weekly QR codes from Tim Hagen, and journal what you've learned from the lessons. Current topics include emotional intelligence, motivation, accelerating teamwork, mastering self-regulation, and more crucial workplace topics.

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Speaker 1:

When we think about emotional intelligence. Emotional intelligence is really understanding your emotions. Most people, especially in high school or college, don't typically attend semester year-long courses in emotional intelligence. Yet what if they would? What if they could? What if universities offered it? What a wonderful opportunity.

Speaker 1:

See, the number one inhibitor in the workplace is a lack of self-awareness. Let me prove that to you. When you give somebody feedback that's constructive, has anyone ever said thank you? I didn't know I had that issue. I appreciate it. Can I hug you? I hope you're laughing. Typically, what people do is what? Well, give me an example. And then, when we give an example, they situationally explain it away.

Speaker 1:

See, there are five main components to emotional intelligence Self-awareness, looking in the mirror and being honest. Self-regulation, not being interruptive and disruptive. Empathy, showing care for what somebody else is going through. Motivation, understanding your true motivation and social skills. Let's start with social skills. Let me ask you this when you're talking to somebody, have you ever noticed that they're thinking about something else or they're looking at their phone or they're distracted, and then they say oh no, no, no, I'm listening, keep going. There's a lack of self-awareness of how that can create a disconnect. It can actually create volatility between people. It can create conflict. See, conversations and the way we interact absolutely affect what goes on in the workplace.

Speaker 1:

Emotional intelligence is about human beings becoming intelligent about their emotions. Once we have that intelligence, we have that grasp, we have that understanding, now we have a wonderful opportunity to do what To improve that? Personally, one of my low scores in EQ or emotional intelligence is empathy. Personally, one of my low scores in EQ or emotional intelligence is empathy. I've always subscribed to. You've got to just work through it, you've got to grind, you've got to have grit.

Speaker 1:

Yet that is naive and that doesn't always apply to everybody else. See, what we tend to do is look at things from a me-centric filter. Well, here's what I do, here's the way I handle that situation. That's not transferable to everybody, otherwise we'd all be robots. The greatest gift we can give ourselves that will absolutely skyrocket somebody's career is the ability to understand emotional intelligence. And start with self-awareness by asking people questions of feedback. Start with self-awareness by asking people questions of feedback and truly just listening and saying thank you and reflecting and not interrupting, not rebuttaling, not battling, not showing resistance. There is a huge opportunity for every employee. It's been estimated that 85% of people, according to Tasha York in the book New York Times bestseller insights that 85% of people significantly lack self-awareness. What if that number was reversed?