A Simple Coaching Recipe For Turning Negativity Into Influence

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Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:01

I think one of the challenges that we all have when we're working with people is we immediately have this immediate reaction to what we see. So if we see someone, for example, with a negative attitude, what do we want to do? We want to fix it. We want to stop it. That's human nature. So when someone comes in the room and you all of a sudden you feel that air get thicker and you think, Tim's here. What do we want to do? We want it to go away. Our first instinct is not to embrace and get enthusiastic and say, oh my gosh, Tim with his negative attitude is here. I can't wait to help

Our Instinct To Fix Negativity

SPEAKER_00 0:37

him. Sounds crazy, right? Yet that's what good coaching is. We embrace the difficulty. Now, where the coaching school comes in and where a recipe comes in is how do I get that person and let's use a negative attitude as an apparatus to talk about how to craft a coaching recipe. So if someone has a negative attitude, I'm going to give you a foundation. They have been practicing that attitude for a long time. One or two conversations is not going to be suffice. So what do we do? We have to be in it for the long haul.

Embracing Difficulty As Real Coaching

SPEAKER_00 1:16

So the first thing that we can do is set up one-on-one. Now, instead of addressing it as something that we're fixing, let's address it opportunistically, such as Tim, I think we have an opportunity to raise our game and to really have not only you, but other people on the team really be influential with one another. And I'd love to explore that with you. See a negative attitude being brought up, those words will trigger what? A negative attitude. But if there's something in it, which we call the whift, what's in it for them? That's huge.

The Long Haul One On One Plan

SPEAKER_00 1:48

Now, if someone's coaching this person with a negative attitude, but you know they have some career aspirations, which we call the motivator, you can bring that into the conversation. For example, Tim, what if you were becoming more influential and really, you know, raising your team members' level of performance or cooperation or collaboration? How do you think that might help you become a first-time leader, assuming that that's the goal or the motivator? That's a recipe. That's a secret sauce. Bringing that in. Now let's create the recipe. The ingredient should be, at least in this case, I would just throw it out there, one-on-one coaching. But I might get a peer. I might get what I call a silent peer influential coach. I might go to Lisa and say, you know, Lisa, every

WIFTS And Career Motivators That Work

SPEAKER_00 2:34

time you see Tim showing some positivity, I'd love to have you recognize it and say, thanks for doing that, Tim. We really need that, which nurtures the behavior in the right direction. The second thing I might do is, or the third thing I might do after one-on-one and peer, my private peer influential coach, I might get a book for Tim and I might have him read it and say, you know, every chapter I want you to just send me a summation of what you took away from it positively. Another secret sauce for you. I want you to share with me what you took away from each chapter positively. I'm framing out the response. I'm prompting them to think about the activity positively. And when they write it down or communicate it via email, let's say every two weeks,

Add A Silent Peer Coach

SPEAKER_00 3:17

what they're doing is they're communicating positively. The secret sauce is I'm crafting a learning project with specificity. We call it a self-actualized question. Give me two things that you're going to do to positively share with me every two weeks what you've done to positively. You get the idea. So the fact of the matter is that this is an opportunity to put together a recipe. So we have one-on-one, we have a private influential coach, and then we have supplemental coaching where we're going to use a book. And one of my favorite books is The Chicken Soup Books by Mark Victor Hansen. So now you've got a three-part recipe. You got three ingredients to go into your recipe. The secret sauce is getting into the crafting

Use A Book And Positive Summaries

SPEAKER_00 4:05

of some of those activities. Share with me every two weeks where you positively bringing up the fact that they you want them to become an influential teammate versus reprimanding their negative behavior. That seems simple, everybody. But if you get conversationally very gifted and you communicate it as such, that becomes extremely powerful. There's a simple application of what a coaching recipe is. What are your thoughts?